How to Find a Couples Therapist or Counselor in Los Angeles or the San Francisco Bay Area
There are SO many therapists in California right now, and many of them say they specialize in couples.
How can you know who might be a good fit?
How can you know who is has the experience and training to do couples therapy?
I want to help you find great couples therapy in Los Angeles, the San Francisco Bay Area, or anywhere in California.
Here are some things to look for when you are searching for a couples therapist:
1.Ask about their training
Many therapists believe that couples therapy can be particularly challenging. This is why it’s important that your therapist has specific training in couples therapy. Training in couples therapy is not a required part of the clinical psychology curriculum, so ask what kind of a commitment any therapist you are considering has made to doing specialized training in couples therapy. You want to make sure that your therapist has the tools and skills to teach you so that you can practice them at home and eventually not need to do couples therapy!
Two of the most popular trainings are Gottman and Sue Johnson’s EFT (Emotionally-Focused Therapy). If your therapist has done these trainings, make sure you ask what level they have achieved, as the commitment to learn each model can vary widely, from a number of hours of online training, to days and days of in-person workshops and supervision.
The training I have done is with the Couples Institute of Menlo Park, where Ellyn Bader and Pete Pearson have been doing couples therapy and couples retreats for over 30 years. I did a year-long training in their developmental model, and another training in how to lead couples intensive retreats. I have studied Gottman and Sue Johnson, as well as Esther Perel, Harville Hendrix, and Michele Weiner-Davis, and I find the model taught at the Couples Institute to be the most effective way to teach couples to communicate in a way in which they not only learn about each other, but they learn about themselves as well. This is the magic of couples therapy— when two people can learn not only to work together, but also to support each other in their own personal growth.
2.Ask about their experience
Many therapists will say they see couples, but their actual practice has very few couples in it, and they see mostly individuals. Ask your couples therapist not only how long they have been seeing couples, but also what percentage of their practice is couples right now.
3.Get to know them
Read their profile on whatever directory you found them in, but don’t stop there! Go to the website and see if you can get a sense of their personality, and if it seems like someone you would enjoy working with. Psychology Today Therapist Finder is one of the most widely known directories, but there are other excellent directories as well. Therapy Den is a directory that is very sensitive to many different areas of therapy, and you can screen for a therapist that has experience in many specific issues, if that’s a concern for you. If they offer a free consultation, take it! This is one of the best ways that you can get a feel for what it might be like to work with them
4.Call me! I offer free online phone and video consultations!
I will be happy to help you find someone in your area if we are not a fit. I often refer people to other therapists and I have a network of excellent clinicians that I can point you toward. If you are not sure what kind of therapy you want— individual, couples counseling, or an intensive couples retreat, I can help you sort that out as well. If you can’t get your partner to agree to couples therapy, you still have options! I often work with individuals on their relationships, and when their partners see how much of a difference it’s making, they are much more interested in couples therapy. At that point, I would refer you out to a colleague for the couples therapy in order to keep everything separate. Call me or email me to set up your free consultation today! I look forward to talking to you soon!
